其實，即使終于鼓起全部的道德勇氣，坐在桌前，準備償付信債于萬一，也不是輕易能如愿的。七零八落的新簡舊信，漫無規則地充塞在書架上，抽屜里，有的回過，有的未回，“只在此山中，云深不知處”，要找到你決心要回的那一封，耗費的時間和精力，往往數倍于回信本身，再想象朋友接信時的表情，不是喜出望外，而是余怒重熾，你那一點決心就整個崩潰了。你的債，永無清償之日。不回信，絕不等于忘了朋友，正如世上絕無忘了債主的負債人。在你惶恐的深處，惡魘的盡頭，隱隱約約，永遠潛伏著這位朋友的怒眉和冷眼，不，你永遠忘不了他。你真正忘掉的，而且忘得那么心安理得，是那些已經得到你回信的朋友。
The jumbled old epistles and new letters are piled up on bookshelves or crammed in drawers, some of which have been replied while some haven’t. As Jia Dao wrote in his poem Calling on a Hermit in Vain . “He is here in the mountain. Yet I can’t find his whereabouts through all these thick clouds. ” Picking out the letter that you intend to reply will cost you time and energy several times greater than replying the letter does. Moreover, imagine your friends’ countenance when they get the reply, which is not unexpected delight but reburned lingering anger, and all of your little determination will vanish. Your debt will never be liquidated. Not replying the letters is by no means equal to forgetting friends, as there is absolutely no debtor in the world who will forget his creditor.
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